Confidence: fake it until you make it

Alright, sista. Get your mean face on.

I used to laugh when I would realize how differently I walk down the street in Quito, Ecuador, a city of three million people where I stick out like a sore thumb versus how I am in the town I grew up in. I look rude. I’m not even kidding.

I walk down the street always dressed up like a local with my trendy pants on, probably boots and sunglasses covering my blue eyes (they always notice eye color there.) My face? Not smiling, but clearly giving off a “you mess with me and I mess with you” vibe.

Very different from my childhood hometown where I probably wander around looking lost or smiley half the time.

Here’s the thing, though: little changes make a big difference, and you want to exude confidence even when you’re not feeling it. Bad guys feel afraid too, you know.

Here’s a few tips on staying safe by being smart and strutting your stuff out there:

  • Get your mean girl face on (or bad boy face)
    • The way you walk, the look on your face, the vibe you exude, all counts. Fake it ’til you make it. Just look confident.
  • Confidently greet people
    • I briefly say “hola” or “buenos días” with a quick smile when there’s that awkward moment passing someone close on the street. I think it’s a much better situation than intensely trying to avoid eye contact, though this can vary through cultures.
  • Never look lost
    • Even if you are. Save the map gawking for when you’re in the hostel.
  • Walk with purpose
    • If you are lost and nonchalantly walking from here to the corner to look at a street sign, don’t wander. Walk quickly and decisively, don’t tarry. Obviously there is a time where you can truly wander but for the most part you want your body language telling the world you know exactly what’s up and where you’re going.
  • Never look like a tourist
    • Okay, we are tourists, and it will show, but try to observe what others do, say and wear and follow suit. In tourist places you can be a tourist, but if you are exploring a normal side of the city try to sneak a pic instead of gawking in your shorts, tennis shoes, and big ole’ camara. Just a little word of advice if you don’t want to be a target. After living in Quito a couple years I could spot out the foreigners who were tourists versus the foreigners who lived there with probably 100% accuracy. If I was a bad guy, I would know exactly who to target. So just help your odds out and try to blend in a little. (When I’m walking through a city with my massive backpacking backpack, this is fairly impossible, but the concept is still helpful to keep in mind. And I try to stick to backpacking places where people are friendly and used to backpackers – )
  • Look at people
    • This is different in different cultures, but most the time when I travel I try to look at people in the eye and smile. It shows confidence on my end and gives me a better read on who they seem to be (someone to help me out and ask directions or someone who seems a little shady.)
  • Know how to say “help” in the local language. The distress tone is pretty universal.
    • In Spanish, you can cry “Auxilio!” and everyone will understand you are in need of help.
  • Stay with people.
    • Personally, I am much more nervous in rural areas than I am in a crowded city. Sure, the chances of getting pickpocketted are higher, but there is a strength in numbers and the more seemingly good people there are around you the more likely it is that there is a good soul who will help you in a pinch. I try to never be alone especially when I’m traveling alone.