I have to learn the hard way.

I try, I try so hard to learn the easy way.

I read, I read a lot, ask the kids who asked me what I was reading on the beach yesterday and if it was The Notebook to which I awkwardly replied… no… it’s nonfiction. I like books like that. (I was reading Never Go Back by Henry Cloud, I highly recommend it, save it for your next breakup.)

I’m sure my reading provides some sort of frame of reference and helps a lot, but at the end of the day… it doesn’t stick if it doesn’t hurt.

This is why I’m a little wary of the parenting illusion that kids can learn from your mistakes. Your love and acceptance and structure makes a huge difference, but I’m not sure kids can learn from your mistakes. They can benefit from who you are, but you have separate lives, and you had to learn the hard way, right?

We’re so afraid of messing up our lives, but the beautiful thing is we are much more resilient than we knew. You are tougher than you think.

So get in the action, get in and engage. Don’t try to figure out everything ahead of time. Jump in and learn as you go in this beautiful mess called life.

And give your loved ones the space — not to say “I told you so,” but to listen to what they truly learned.

‘Cause that’s what’s going to stick.